some Tidings of comfort

This morning I am resting at home, wrapped in blankets, cradling a warm cup of coffee, and listening to the morning service at First Pres. Oh, how I appreciate internet access to our warm church family during my recovery. Hearing Dr. Ferguson humorous deliver the children's message comforts me. Hearing the choir sing the wonderful Gabriel's Message, comforts me, too. (this is a great link if you enjoy fine choral music).

I have felt very lonely this week. If anyone is still reading my all-over-the-place blog, you'll know I've had some rough days. I have new compassion for the home bound, the elderly, the truly alone. I'm grateful for that.

After sleeping in a recliner for three nights I am breathing a bit better. I've also practiced breathing through my Airlife spirometer. Last week,I could inhale about 2250, then it dropped to below 500 this week. That's how little oxygen I received! Thankfully, I improved to 750 yesterday.

My children have been very patient with me. My older daughter, full of compassion, rubs my arm, instructs me with big eyes, "Mama, it's okay, you'll feel better soon." Then a few hours later, "Mama, I know you can't really read yet, but can I sit in your lap with my book?"...and then she climbs into my lap with about 8 books, 2 baby dolls, and a snack.

My younger daughter still tugs on my shirt indicating she wants to nurse. I tell her we can't, she sighs, gives me a tiny hug, and scampers along. Later, she brings me a book to "read" with her, her latest crayon creation rumpled in the fingers.

Scenes of everyday family life comfort me. The sage old saying: "Do ye the next thynge" is still apt. When there is nothing to do, do the next thing.

For me, that meant finishing the hem on some dresses I had sewn for my daughters. Here is the dress on my new bed. It's the first time I sewed piping & a ruffle. Sweet sister dresses in French blue corduroy with a pretty contrasting lining.

My second improvement has been managing my pain. I decreased my Dilaudid over the few days, kinda saving it for when it got really bad, and thankfully many of the narcotic side effects have disappeared.

• not as edgy, can concentrate
• appetite is returning slowly
• GI track is normalizing
• all over itchiness is gone
• no more nightmares...these were really wreaking havoc w/sleep

Still do experience the following side effects of surgery:

• constant low grade fever chills
• throbbing pain & spiked stabs of pain in my chin
• swelling under my nose is worse due to the Lefort I
• stitches in upper jaw itch constantly
• numbness - nose, cheekbones, half of chin, roof of mouth, all upper teeth

Pain meds now consist of Motrin/Ibuprofen 800mg every 8 hours, plus 400mg Tylenol as needed. I have about 3 doses of Dilaudid left before my OS appt tomorrow. These are for tonight.

My splendid spouse turned our gas fireplace on last night. Ah, I waited 2 years for that moment! It was SO nice to sit somewhere other than my bedroom. He picked up some Pho soup at my request. I blended the meat for extra protien. What a pleasant change from chocolate Muscle Milk sh kes. He put the children to bed, and we chatted just like old times in front of the fireplace before he departed to put in a few hours of work at his office.

In ways both big and small I am encouraged.

my iron lung

I remain in the "wincing and weeping" stage for another few days I am afraid. My current hurdle is trying to breathe deeply. After listening to my growing list of physical ailments, my husband ordered some blood work to be drawn. The results from last evening's trip to the hospital came back positive, that is, there were no obvious signs of infection. They did not, however, reveal what is causing me such pain.

I suspect it is muscular, from how difficult it is to find a sleeping position. If anyone reading this would share how they handled their post-op sleep, I would be much obliged. If I move my head much out of center, my ear aches terribly, but it feels like my neck is begin pulled somehow.

Goodness, I am a mess!

As best as I can describe it, I am wearing an iron lung that prevents my from breathing anything other than the smallest of breaths. Pleghm drips onto my esosophelgus-whatever, and then I can't cough. Any breathing causes my chest to constrict into muscle spasms.

Should I see a chiropractor? Do I need a muscle relaxer? I know I need help. My next visit wit the OS ins't until Monday at 1 pm.

Thanks y'all.

lounging in bed, again

Today marks 1 week since surgery. Amazing. On Day 5, I felt awesome. noticed lots of swelling was down, chatted up a storm, smiled with my children, saw visitors. but once again did not sleep. Day 6, I sadly paid for all that talking. still no sleep at night. Today, the situation is somewhat improved, but uncomfortable. I can't quite shake the frequent "white, hot pain" spasms.

So, I have modified my med schedule. This should help with sleep. Without any rest, every response is exaggerated. Y'all, I was taking a different med at every hour for six days. No wonder I feel loony!

I'm called the OS to ask him my questions. He was pleasant, reassured me that all my issues were temporary.

Kinda vacillating between wincing and weeping. Where did my old normal self go? Sorry to sound down. It's just gonna be one of those harder days. Maybe today is my low point?

happy anniversary!

Eight years ago on a cold, rainy day B and I said our vows in front of many dear family and friends. Thank you to anyone reading this blog in 2008 who supported us back then. We young things needed lots of advice along the way! With each year that passes I am more pleased with my groom. As I see my respectable sins, too, I am reminded how little I deserve such a fine man. All good things really are a gift of grace...

Some highlights of those 8 years:

• 2001- B is a student, I am laid off in the tech crash...we are in love, in debt, scared and decide to try small town living....who knew we'd find such a grand hometown in Columbia?


• 2003- B is still a student, found a job I adore, but I'm traveling too much with work.






• Next, B is still a student, and he encourages me to follow my dream of studying abroad for an MBA. Now we're both students again, have no money, but are very happy. Remember climbing Mt. Schafberg?



• 2005 - We celebrated 5 years together, realizing for how much of it we had lived apart.


• Blessed with a baby girl, now a SAHM. Still think sometimes about the roads not taken but, mighty happy.
• 2007 - Blessed with a second baby girl.Look at 'em cooo-ute baby feet.

• After hearing me talk about it enough, you encouraged my wish of getting braces. And here I am on our 8th anniversary. Gooby lipped, and despite the temporary grumpiness, still very much in love.

Happy Anniversary B!

the prettier side of recovery

I am feeling the effects of my last dose of narcotics, so this post is a quick one. Here are my humorous attempts at keeping it real. :)

I am feeling a bit like Ms. Jolie. Other adults are watching my children while I hang out with a good looking husband. Strangers tell me how lovely my children are. Oh, and the more water weight I lose, the better my giant lips look! Definitely puffville at my house this week.

Discovered a cool trick: when the rushing sounds of my pulse race through my ears, I push on all sides of my face and it's instantly quieter.

Check out these sexy lips...they got worse but sadly, or maybe not, these are the pics I snapped of the uber grossness.

macho for morphine

I felt so confident at 8:45 am that I skipped my 9:00 dose of dilaudid. Silly girl. By 10:00 I was very aware of my error. Ooew, I have never been so delighted to hear my clock strike 12 noon! To help pass the time, I picked off the ooey whatever was growing on my fat lips. Yuck.

Now my face will stop shaking. I'm making myself repeat, "I will not go macho again. I will not go macho again."

Alright, back to staring aimlessly at my wall. Isn't beige the best color of all?

Home

What a pleasant word to write. It’s now Sunday evening. All reported was that my surgery Thursday morning went smoothly – and my recovery is progressing. Surgery took just over 5.5 hours. The last 36 hours on floor 7W have been very difficult. Hours of intense pain ticked along, the first twelve hours measured in 6 minute increments on my morphine dispenser. As each click brought relief, my eyes grew heavy and an oxygen alarm notified the nursing staff my pulse had fallen. Ooh, and the drug cocktail makes me itch all over.

Those were long hours indeed. Like falling love, reading about it this surgery and experiencing it are entirely different.

I needed to spend an extra night in the hospital to manage my pain. Here is where the good news begins. I am not wired shut, nor am I wearing any rubber bands. This enables me to mumble somewhat coherently. Also, my pain has been higher in part because so much feeling has returned to my face! My chin flutters 4/x hour. My face tingles all over. One of the surgeons thought this was super.

The daytime nurse, Lynne, and evening nurse, Brenda, made it all bearable. Their kindness blessed me immensely! Guess what? Brenda underwent the same surgery about 15 years ago. Her encouragement throughout Saturday night helped me reach “the other side”. At last, I experienced enough relief to see the end was somewhere…

We left the hospital at 12 noon today, raced 120 miles home, in order to pick up prescription pain meds in Columbia in the right liquid/dose/volume. Only one pharmacy carried liquid dilauded in 4mL. These two hours were awful. I felt as if my whole person was being shaken…every new metal screw in my jaws rattled with the road wear.

So far, I have been too concerned with pain management to worry about my new look. My precious three year old wouldn’t look at me at first, then warmed up, piling toy after toy on the bed, saying, “Here Mama, for when you feel better.” I did tear up when my precious 18 month old would not meet my eyes. I tired covering up the swollen parts, and saying her name softly, but she still looks away.

In a few days time, we’ll feel better. For now, I am glad to be home.

the lugs are on

I wish I had kissed my husband more last night. I didn't realize just how strange these surgical lugs would feel.

Today's appointment with my OD was good. The entire staff was fabulous. Inquisitive, thoughtful, gentle, patient, encouraging. Lots of well wishes were exchanged. Though I was very apprehensive on Monday and Tuesday, I feel more excited today. It must be that fight-flight adrenaline rush I'm feeling....that and being covered in prayer by my dear friends & family.

This adjustment was THE most painful experience I can remember. Getting the lower wire in brought tears to my ears for several minutes. Why isn't torque a 4-letter word? See, we had to cut the wires out b/c of the crimps. The new wire is straight and this has to be hooked to my teeth before new crimps could be added. My mascara trail was more dramatic than I would have liked but what can you do except cry at a moment like that? The staff handled my pain well. Four people and 800 mg Advil later my mouth felt better.

I muttered that if I ever feel like not wearing my retainer in the future, I will remember this moment. Seriously.

Here are my teeth today before any changes were made. Crimps are visible (and coffee stains, too!)

Here is a picture of my naked teeth right before new steel wires & lugs were added.

Here is me grinning in the sunlight, cold air rushing through the lugs. 31 looks chic doesn't it? I have hundreds of thoughts to journal, but most of them don't belong on my blog. :) If I have time, I'll try to post some of them. Right now, my energy needs to go to laundry and household tasks before we leave town tonight.

Two bright spots to share.

First, my father called last night to wish me well. He's traveling for business through Asia, so when we saw his call from Taiwan we grabbed it quickly. Thanks Daddy for praying for me. You can never hear someone loves you too often! Second, I have dinner reservations tonight at the romantic restaurant where my husband and I had out first date. B, do you remember how I kept dropping my napkin so I could accidentally move my chair closer to yours?

Well, my husband will not likely post while I'm at the hospital. I should be back online in a week or so. Surgery tomorrow should take about 5.5 -6 hours. It is so strange to be in this moment.

Dr. Ferguson has recently framed his sermons in this context: what is God doing with you, right here, at this time, and in this place? For now, I can answer that He is keeping me under His banner.

And in that day there shall be a Root of Jesse,

Who shall stand as a banner to the people,

For the Gentiles shall seek Him,

and His resting place shall be glorious. - Isaiah 11:10

a shout out

I want to give a giant shout out to my friend-of-a-friend Brooke who first sported a -cutest-blog-on-the-block background. You are such the trendsetter. Thank you for sharing this fun blogging tool with us orthognathic bloggers. :) - katherine in Columbia

Game on!

My doctor decided to postpone the Saturday afternoon test until lunchtime Sunday. Phew, this morning was a bit rough but I'm glad I made it. Drum roll....my hemoglobin soared to 12.3 today according to my blood work.

I chewed on ice chips in the evenings. The small pumpkin spice latte Saturday morning was a very pleasant reprieve.

The headaches and wooziness weren't THAT bad. During Sunday school this morning I joked with a friend that "water is totally overrated". Of course, at any point I could have broken down and chugged a liter. It was never a dangerous situation - my physician monitored me about every 3 hours via interview. The nadir was my constant whining to my husband, "Honey, i'm thirsty...do you think I could grab a little glass of...?" I would not recommend this route to someone else, but I would repeat it if necessary.

Tomorrow I chat with the OS.

a reverse diet

This week I can eat whatever but drink nothing. Next week, I'll be able to drink and eat nothing. SO Ironic. To prepare for my next round of bloodwork, my doctor has encouraged me to dehydrate my body. Uh-huh. Can you imagine my expression when I was told to avoid drinking anything or eating anything that is comprised of a lot of liquid, " for two days? It isn't that bad, though, now that day 1 has passed I am really thirsty. We had a lovely day of heavy thunderstorms, so unusual for November. All I wanted to do was sip a cuppa of joe (or maybe 5 cups!) and read. Instead, I added an extra gym class today to dehydrate. :)
My aim of course is to raise my iron levels past that 12.0 mark. The current plan is to test tomorrow evening at my local hospital. Monday I have the second pre-op and blood work appointment with my OS in Charleston.

Hope to have more good news to report.

*Ferritin - this was the additional test ordered with my last round of blood work. It measures the iron stored in tissues, I think. It came back positive.