It feels so strange to post these. I don't completely like the results yet and feel very self-conscious about my new look. Sometimes, I think there's no difference at all and wonder if it is all worth it...I guess this is where the conviction that one's long-term health is more important than a short-term aesthetic change.
Here is how I felt at 3 weeks post op, written the night I snapped these photos:
Christmas music? Check. Haagan Daas? Check. Feeling better? Hmmm, can I get back to you on that?
When friends ask me how I'm doing I don't know what to say. Yes, I can talk, but it aches. Yes, I'm sleeping better but I wake up swollen like Humpty Dumpty. I am constantly frustrated eating. I miss kissing my husband. Most of all, I miss my optimistic self.
I admit, it has been really difficult to stay positive. I'll be minding my own business, and BOOM, a gigantic zap of pain attacks my chin. Each zap means another nerve is waking up. Thankfully, this stage, too, shall pass. Isn't there some improvement around the 6 week mark? Feeling under my eyes, around the corners of my mouth and around my upper lip has returned. Every couple of days another part of my mouth regains feeling. Swallowing remains strange.
Of course, having any surgery during the holidays is challenging. I miss the aromas of good & good-for-you-food filling the house. I'm at home again tonight instead of celebrating with friends. I miss arriving places with lipstick applied correctly....my lips are still kinda wonky. As the swelling under my nose improves, my upper lips are slowly unfolding. My moods are settling down. The mild depression seems to be lifting more each day.
My father kindly asked me today if I was pleased with my new look. I think so...
Honestly, I’m still growing into this softer face. I liked how Million Dollar Smile phrased it, "getting used to new angles". My fuller cheeks make me look younger – that’s a plus, I guess. They also hide what little cheek bone I do have! I don’t yet like my nose angles. It’s funny how looking at other’s photos I can see the little difference is just that, little, but when I examine my own face in the mirror the difference seems E-normous.
Running holiday errands this week, I ran into several neighbors, each of whom asked me if I had had my surgery yet. This was weird. It‘s good still look like myself, right? Is it good that they don’t see the improvement. Or maybe they see a difference, it registers as "not an improvement" and so they ask? I’m not sure.
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